Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
