i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
