they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
