why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
