Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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