Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
