do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I looked at my own cervix.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
