Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
