I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
