hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
