i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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