32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
