we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
