I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
