Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
