Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
