Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
