Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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