This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
