Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
