Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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