This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
