..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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