I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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