He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
