I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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