Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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