I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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