My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
