Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
