I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
