Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
