My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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