Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
