No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
