I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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