FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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