Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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