was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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