Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
