It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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