mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
