Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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