It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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