U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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