is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
