That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I will be naked everywhere
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
