I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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