Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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