dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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