i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
