i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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