Tell her she can't have a vagina
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
